I don’t really make New Years resolutions because I don’t want to set myself up to fail. I wonder if that isn’t a cop out. I’ve also never really been a goal setter. I also wonder if that isn’t setting ones sights a little low so their is little room for failure? No goals, no resolutions, no reason to get your hopes up. I also don’t have many dreams that come to mind for my future if I am asked. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing really for me to fulfill or go after.
Or do I?
Maybe I have them and just don’t wish to voice them. Maybe I have them and am afraid to admit them. Maybe I have them and think YOU would think they are silly or too small or too big or unattainable or a waste of time or pointless or stupid or not really my dreams. Maybe I have them and don’t know what to do with them or how to accomplish them or even how to define them. Maybe I have them and don’t know why they matter. Maybe I think they are too small or too big.
Maybe I have them and have never given myself permission to allow them to surface. Maybe I’ve been too afraid of you and too afraid of me. Maybe I’ve been judging us both. Maybe I’ve allowed the judgment of others to push those dreams deeper and deeper under the surface and together we’ve buried them where they can barely be heard.
Maybe it’s time to do something about that…