Whatcha holdin?

Let go! Stop holding on so tight! Pry open your hands! You AREN’T in control! My guess is you have either said these words to someone, or someone has said them to you. It’s funny…I’ve been on both sides of these words. In fact, I’ve been on both sides of these words on the same day. These words are much easier to say than hear…at least for me.

Why is this so hard? After all…I am a daughter of the King. Why is it so hard for me to give Him that final bit of control that I hold onto? Oh sure, I’ve given Him my life…most of it. I’ve told Him he could have all of it…more than once. I’ve given Him my kids…many times. What is that saying where you give someone something only to take it back? What do they call those people?

A very serious question came to mind several days ago as I was contemplating how to give God TOTAL control of my life…including my children. Is God bigger than free will? You see, if I give up control of my children then I have no control over how they choose. If I stop controlling the people around me I don’t get to choose how they treat me. If I stop controlling the people around me I don’t get to choose what they believe about my God. Uh, hmmmmm! I’m pretty confident in my ability to control others, huh? Well, if I am so good at this control thing…where is the fruit? Why do I look around me at a bunch of empty baskets? Why isn’t there a line of people standing outside my door waiting to hear what I have to say? Why aren’t my children sitting at my feet hanging on my every word? :/

I had only shared this “free will” pondering with one other person on this planet. Her response to that question was that God can’t be smaller than anything He created and free will was His idea. Then I went to a bible class on prayer and the very first thing the teacher said to begin the class on our voice in prayer was…God created free will. He put this whole universe in motion, created the earth and all that is in it and fashioned man in His own image with free will knowing the outcome…because He already knew the end of the story before He even wrote the first word. THAT boggles my mind. Thank God I am not in control of that! 😉

So…what does it boil down too? What is that magic word or moment or pill that will cause me to turn my hands palm UP, fingers spread wide open…and KEEP them that way? Is there just one? Or is it like a multivitamin for the spirit? I know WHO can place that desire in me. I know WHO is deserving of that kind of trust…TRUST. I believe Psalm 139 for me and you and you and you. I trust God to protect you and you and you. But what about those two precious girls of mine? Uh…He gave his life for them too. He created them. He has numbered the hairs on their heads too. He has written their days and their good works in his book. He has a plan for their futures. He gave them their free will. Who am I to interfere with THAT? His baskets are full of fruit. He DOES have people lined up to receive wisdom and knowledge and direction about their lives from Him. He IS in control.

I popped onto YouTube before I opened up this page to write. THIS was the “recommended” song on my page…:D

 

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