I’ve spent a lot of time in silence today. I wish I could have spent it in silence in a chair curled up under a blanket with a good beverage. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to compartmentalize my life like that today. I had to live it all at the same time. I left the music turned off today. I love me some praise and worship music to fill the air, but I needed silence today.
I need to spend more of my days this way. It felt peaceful even though I was busy making up for lost time. I was working hard to catch up on some things that had fallen way behind. I’d normally want some good tunes to help inspire me for a task like this. Today I just wanted quiet as my motivator. Actually, I wanted God to be my motivator today. I needed to hear from Him and I wanted to hear from Him without a bunch of distractions.
My mind ponders a lot. It’s been pretty distracting lately. Sure, I ponder a lot of good stuff. He helps me process a lot of life that way, but it also serves to distract me from things I don’t want to do that I need to do. Things I’ve been given responsibility for. Things that He has put in my life for me to do. Sometimes my pondering takes me away from relating to people right in front of me. People who could use my presence in their lives. People who God has blessed me with. People He has allowed me to spend time with. I don’t intend to leave the conversation thru the pondering portal, but it happens. I apparently miss parts of entire conversations hanging out in Ponderville. Some days it even takes me away from time I’ve dedicated to spend with Him. I’ll ask Him a question and then head straight to Ponderville without waiting to hear from Him.
I never want my pondering to distract from my living. God has given me this pondering mind. I’m sure He is okay with me using it. It’s part of how He wired me. I’ve been this way since I was little. I’ve heard my Aunt say she remembers me getting a far off look in my eyes…pretty sure now that I was on a trip to Ponderville way back then. I just don’t want what He intended for good to be used for evil.
The good news is He can go anywhere. Maybe I’ll invite Him to go with me to Ponderville and help me find the balance I need between my pondering and living.