What will that cost?

“We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” – C.S. Lewis

Sometimes it’s nice to know your not alone. It’s nice to know someone else on the planet can relate to how you are feeling. I had a moment like that when this quote was placed up on the screen at the Captivating Retreat.

If an author took the time to put it in a book and someone took the time to quote it for an audience, there must be plenty of peeps who can relate to that sentiment. Now, I’m not saying I’m happy there are others who feel that way. I don’t wish for any of us to feel that way. It’s not a fun place to be, but it feels hopeful to know I’m not in that place alone.

I’ve had enough real life experiences to know that life can be hard. Parents get divorced. Friends decide they don’t need you anymore. A baby you were so excited to be carrying didn’t make it. Someone gets sick and they don’t recover. These things are hard.

I’ve also had enough experience to know that God ALWAYS replaces our hurts with blessings. It may take a while and we may have to be in a different position to see and receive them, but He is always faithful. As a dear friend once said, “God never wastes a hurt.”. This dear friend said that as he was fighting for his life. He said it as cancer was destroying his body. He knew there was more to this life than his fight. He knew there was more to what was going on with him than the physical. He got to see more than one person come to know Jesus because of the way he reflected Him thru his trial. He said it was all worth it and I believe he meant it.

I struggle with this. I love the life God has given me. I am blessed with healthy children, a husband that loves me and them and great friends. I am blessed to know that God loves me.  I want to know Him more. I want to believe Him more. I want to have all there is for me to have in my relationship with Him. I want to do everything He calls me to do.

I know living sold out to Him could be costly. Just look at the men and women of faith in the bible. I think sometimes we glamorize them, but they each paid a price to be called faithful. They each did it without really knowing the outcome of their belief. I guess that’s why it’s called faith.

Oh to live so sold out to God that no matter the price, it was worth it. Oh to live so sold out for Him that I could believe that no matter what He asked me to give, I’d believe His goodness trumps. Oh to live so secure in that belief that I would be willing to follow Him anywhere. Oh to live so secure in the goodness of His agenda, that I would freely give up my own.

I guess it’s just part of learning to live in the tension between this world and the one we are being called to serve in. I guess it’s learning to live in the goodness of the present, but holding it in open arms to Him, knowing He’s got it all worked out. Believing that He has an ultimate plan that really is so much more than we could ever ask or imagine!


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